Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Chronicle....Part 1

So I'm gay. So that's it. That's all about it. I wouldn't want to go into details how did I become gay and all that shit. It's in the past, and I don't want to tell about it, and I don't want to revisit that side of history.

All I know is that I'm ok with the fact that I love hot guys. And I am happy that I have a bunch of close friends who are in some sort of way, the same ship with me. Well, some seems to over accepting, while some others still quite shy about it. It's ok. They are still my bestfriends ever!And I love them all!

It's not that I'm glad that I'm gay. Well nobody wants to be something that is "unaccepted" as normal. I mean, who would want to wear that silly cone shape bra that Madonna used to don anyway?But I made peace with myself and accept me the way I am. So, nothing's really bad with that huh?

And the fact that I did not love hot guys just for the sake of sex. And definitely I'm not into anal intercourse. I don't find it sexually satisfying like some other gaymen do. I just don't like to fuck or be fucked. Is that even normal for a gay guy?I don't know.

Alright call me helpless romantic. Call me "Mat Gay Jiwang". Whatever. But I'm waiting for the right guy who would sweep me off my feet and lead me off the stairwell.HAHA.Like that will ever happen!Firstly, I'm over 90kg and no one can sweep me off my feet!Well maybe Edward Cullen could.....hohohhohoho...

Yeah.but seriously.I don't want to be called sinner, to face public discrimination and outrage just because I want to enjoy anal sex. I don't think so. I'm looking for something much deeper than that. Not "that" deep!

I'm ready for people to whack me, to call me fags and to say that I'll rot with the other sinners in hell because the Prophet won't accept me and all that shit, having Marzidol to say I'm a "Gay Durjana" as long as I could love my love and give him my all.My all entire Life.Yes.I'm ready for that.Marzidol who?

So, yeah.This is ME.I am Kamarul Azhar and I'm GAY. and I'm proud that I live with that.

picture credit:mazidulakmal.blogspot.com, rofy.blogspot.com

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